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Jump to page:
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Sensei: So..you understand, yes?
(student falls out of chair, onto floor)
Sensei: Tabarge-san! Get UP!
Tabarge: I'm dying, sensei. Shoot myself in the HEAD desu.
Sensei: I don't care...if you do. But, go outside first. Okay?
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Yumiko Suzuki, Japanese II
Monacan, Richmond, VA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 4, 2004 |
Our sensei is sweet and clever. Who would've suspected..??
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| Rating: 1 |
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I'm going to visit my old professor in Vienna this summer. The first hour or so he yells at me because I can't play the piano and because I haven't cut my hair, but the rest of the stay is usually really nice!
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B.J., Music Theory
Xxx Academy of Music, Xxx, Sweden
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Comments? Add
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
B.J. is famous for his big & curly hair
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| Rating: unrated |
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B.J.: ...the contrabassoon. Have you ever heard a contrabassoon?
Student: No.
B.J.: It sounds like...it sounds like an elephant farting!
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B.J., Music Theory
Xxx Academy of Music, Xxx, Sweden
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
B.J. looking at an orchestration assignment.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"...but Hydrogen and Oxygen are spawns of Satan"
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Mrs. Anthony, Hn Chemistry
Bowling Green High School, Bowling Green, Ohio
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
Talking about how they can be difficult to balance. Dunno, this sentence just came out of no where
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| Rating: 10 |
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"You survived the last round of exams? There's enough alcohol in the world?"
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Dr. Kerr, HIST 231: Scotland, Early to Present
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
The first of many from this prof. I wish I could capture them all.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"You can chose any topic for your short essay. The impact of whiskey on golf clubs" [Class laughs] "or the impact of whiskey on anything. The impact of whiskey on your professor..."
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Dr. Kerr, HIST 231: Scotland, Early to Present
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"It's good to aim high, because then it's depressing, but it feels like you've struggled all year for it."
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Dr. Kerr, HIST 231: Scotland, Early to Present
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Happy Birthday ProfQuotes
January 7th is ProfQuotes's first birthday.
It's been a great first year. We've had 900,000 visits from 50,000 people in over 60 countiers. Visitors have submitted 2000 quotes and 1600 comments.
I'd like to thank everyone for making the site a sucess.
If you'd like to help improve the site, tell other people about it. The more people who visit, the more quotes are submitted and with the rating system, the quality should rise with more people too.
The site has evolved a lot over the past year, most the features available were added based on your input. For those who are interested, you can view the site as it was when it launched.
Jason
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Comments? Add
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
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"I'll just photocopy God for you..."
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Instructor Lake, English 121
NIC, PA, BC
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Comments? Add
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submitted: January 7, 2004 |
Its a play we have to read
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| Rating: 7.5 |
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I impressed my son this morning when I hit a crow with my truck... those things are hard to hit.
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Josh Loukus, Mechanical Vibrations
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, Michigan
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Comments? Add
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submitted: January 8, 2004 |
Talking about his drive into work in the morning.
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| Rating: unrated |
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[Demonstrating a problem from the textbook involving a woman who is trying to find the fastest way to get to a point on the other side of a lake.]
"She can start off going in any direction. Well, really, she can only go in directions that head towards the other side of the lake, or else she'll never get there."
[Turns back to the blackboard and begins writing an equation, then stops and turns back to the class, smiling.]
"Well, I suppose she could go in another direction, but she'd have to go all the way around the world! It would take her a very long time."
[Chuckles and starts writing again, then pauses and waits a few seconds before turning back to face the class, dead serious.]
"If she survived."
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Dr. Apaloo, MATH 111
St. Francis Xavier University, Antigonish, Nova Scotia
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 9, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Cosmic hands give you permutations.
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Dr. David Pollack, MATH 212
Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario
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Comments? Add
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submitted: January 9, 2004 |
Talking about permutation groups, for an introductory course in Modern (abstract) Algebra.
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| Rating: unrated |
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So about 50 million years ago these bear like creatures said,"thats it, this tree thing sucks." And they climbed back into the ocean and gave us the flipper.
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Chris Petrie, Oceanography
Brevard Community College, Titusville, FL
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or View (0)
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submitted: January 9, 2004 |
| Rating: 9.5 |
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It seems to me you're operating under the assumption that the downfall of France is a bad thing...
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Dr. Cammer, AP Biology
Thomas Jefferson HSST, Alexandria, VA
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submitted: January 9, 2004 |
a French girl was going on for a bit on how something led to the downfall of France; it may have been related to population genetics.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Nanomaterials are dank."
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Dr. Falvo, Materials Science
UNC-Chapel Hill, Chapel Hill, NC
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
His area of research is nanomaterials.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof. Rogers: How was the test?
Student: Professor Rogers I feel like I just got raped by an elephant.
Prof. Rogers: Wait till MA-109, it'll be a regular Jurassic Park.
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Prof. Rogers, MA-108 Differential Equations
Polytechnic University., Farmingdale, NY
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
The MA-108 final was particularly brutal that semester, and Rogers always had a bizarre sense of humor.
MA-109 was Multi-Dementional Calculus, and yes it was a regular Jurassic Park.
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| Rating: 9 |
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My rule of thumb: don't eat the props.
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Professor Lawrence Ponzek, Acting I
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
| Rating: 7 |
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Free electrons, no charge
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Dr. Steven Orenstein, Electromagnatism I
Queens College, Flushing, NY
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
Strangely enough a highlight of the class
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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I like killing dogs.
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
Way out of context, but it caught us off guard, so.
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| Rating: 7 |
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She said to me, "You took me into the computer lab and switched my brain."
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
Talking about a student stalker he had who was clearly schizophrenic
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| Rating: 7.5 |
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Sperm don't get drunk.
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
| Rating: 5 |
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I'm a cow. I go moo.
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
| Rating: 7 |
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These were severely disturbed monkeys.
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
Talking abous the Harlow experiment, with the terry cloth and wire monkeys. Was talking about the ones raised by the wire monkeys.
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| Rating: 8 |
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Just admit that you're inferior and deal with it.
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Dr. Marino, Introduction to Psychology
Atlantic Cape Community College, Mays Landing, New Jersey
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 10, 2004 |
Talking to the males in the class.
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| Rating: 6 |
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We went on tours for about 3 years, then we couldn't stand each other anymore. That was partually due to the fact that we were f***ing each other's girlfriends. Which is not good if you are to remain pals...
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P.B., Guest lecturer, composition
Xxx Academy of Music, Xxx, Sweden
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 11, 2004 |
P.B. was telling us the story of his life
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| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 6 (144 quotes) Next |
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