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Jump to page:
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This is why they stopped me from teaching Human Sexuality. Well, that and I'm old, and I've been divorced for 20 years..
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Dr. Louise Jackson, Family Systems
Bemidji State University, Bemidji, MN
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 1, 2004 |
We'd gotten on a tangent about sex for like 20 minutes when she said this.
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| Rating: unrated |
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A grape is worth a lot more than a cucumber.
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Dr. Oren Harman, Darwinism
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
The trurh is it did have something to do with the context (some kind of experiment with monkeys) but it amused me anyhow.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Picture this as a cupcake...it is to be taken in and enjoyed.
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Dr. Bjorklund, Organic Chem 222
North Central College, Naperville, IL
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
This was in reference to a second level organic chemistry exam of which the average ended up being around 40%.
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| Rating: 7 |
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News:
Sneak Preview for ProfQuotes readers:
My new web site
www.itallconnects.com is in beta stage now and I'm looking for some feedback.
Did you ever wonder how Donald Trump is connected to France or how George Bush is is connected to Bill Gates? In some way, everything is related to everything else, and the goal of the new site is to find out how.
Please take a look at the site, add a few connections if you want to and leave any feedback you have here.
Thanks,
Jason
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
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"I'll have to remind my husband that even Satan asked for directions... On second thought, that may not be a good arguement."
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Dr. Mathews, Milton
UNT, Denton, TX
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
| Rating: 8 |
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357 squared is 127449; that has nothing to do with my magic show, I just wanted to show off.
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Prof Benjamin, Discrete Math
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
I don't actually remember what 3 digit number he squared; that one sounded about right... it's unimportant, anyway. The important thing to note is that, in addition to teaching, Benjamin also does a Mathemagic show, and he sometimes teaches us some of his tricks in Discrete. Or, in this case, just randomly shows off his skills.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Or if that was too cheap for you, this one's even cheaper!
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Prof Benjamin, Discrete Math
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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submitted: March 2, 2004 |
The trick he was teaching us works perfectly 8/9 times. The other 1/9, it leads to two possibilities, so he was telling us methods of convincing the audience that you know which one it is when you don't. Benjamin is sure on a roll with the witty quotes!
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Are you a hooker or a pusher?"
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Dr. Jensvold, Human Development (PSY 314)
Central Washington University, Ellensburg, Washington
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submitted: March 3, 2004 |
- Asking a left-handed student how she holds her pencil.
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| Rating: 10 |
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You remember all that stuff in first year calculus where we said "When doing an indefinite integral you really *should* put in an arbitrary consant, but we're going to be lenient and won't crucify you if you do?". It doesn't work that way in second year, we *will* crucify you. No constant, no...banana.
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Dr J Denier, Differential Equations II
University of Adelaide, Adelaide, South Australia
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submitted: March 3, 2004 |
I'm not sure where the bananas came from, but the threat of crucifixion was pretty amusing.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: What does "delicate" mean?
Student: Dry clean only.
Prof: Obviously. But in this context?
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Professor Kunat, Witchcraft and Demonology
Sonoma State University, , CA
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submitted: March 5, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Did I stutter?
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Mr. Heath, AP US History
Ossining High School, Ossining, NY
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 5, 2004 |
After being asked for the 2nd time how many questions were on a test.
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| Rating: 3 |
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Student: "Are we done?"
Professor: "No."
Student: "You said we'd get out early!"
Professor: "I lied."
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Bob Messer, Math 141
Albion College, Albion, MI
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submitted: March 5, 2004 |
| Rating: 6 |
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There's no reason to prove there's no basis, though mathematicians are perverse...
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Artin, 18.702 (Algebra 2)
Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge, MA
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
The lack of basis in question, for all you perverse people out there, is a Z-basis for Z[x]/f where f(x)=3x-1.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"This is an engineering problem, and what is the first thing to do with engineering problems? Turn to the formula handbook."
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Kjell Eriksson, Mechanics
Luleå University of Technology, , Sweden
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Have you read aloud before? Tell the truth now, you know what happens when you lie to your English teacher...
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Deborah Wilchek, IB English 1
Richard Montgomery High School, Rockville, Maryland
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Let us make the approximation that this isn't an approximation."
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Kjell Eriksson, Mechanics
Luleå University of Technology, Luleå, Sweden
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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So it seems like Picard's method is just giving us a Taylor series for the function. Now, is this the actual Taylor series for tan(x)? Well, if you look at it term by term and you know the Taylor series for tan(x) off the top of your head, then...you probably really need to get a life...
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Dr Jim Denier, Differential Equations II
University of Adelaide, Adelaide, South Australia
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
I think he's probably right.
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| Rating: unrated |
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The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead
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Gresham, survey of twentieth century design
OSU-Okmulgee, Okmulgee, OK
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submitted: March 8, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Newton's Law is something he made up.
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Bubba Altan, Fluids
Michigan Tech, Houghton, MI
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submitted: March 9, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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There is no basis to assume that any of this[the gospels] is historical fact.
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Kelly Denton Bourhaug, New Testament Gospels
Goucher College, Towson, Maryland
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
Not so funny as seeping in irony.
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| Rating: unrated |
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You like GUM! This is good for me because I sell gum to you and make a lot of money but if you ever stop liking gum I'm in the poorhouse, so I depend on your continuing to like gum! So I'm Latin America and you're Great Britain!
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Mr. King, AP World History
Grimsley High School, Greensboro, NC
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
This was an analogy explaining a 19th century trade relationship. You have to imagine the whole thing being practically shouted.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Omega is the sexy alternative to O."
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Bob Weidman, PH2200 Physics II - Electricity and Magnetism
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, MI
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
Talking about why "O" isn't used as a symbol for ohms.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"A phallic symbol is anything longer than it is wide."
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Dr. John Miller, American Literature
North Carolina School of Science and Mathemat, Durham, NC
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
The subject of discussion was Rip van Winkle and his gun.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"You have failed life."
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Dr. John Kolena, Physics with Topics
North Carolina School of Science and Mathemat, Durham, NC
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"Clearly, Jesus had temporal lobe epilepsy."
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Dr. John Sappington, Behavior Pathology
Augusta State University, Augusta, GA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: March 10, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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