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"If anyone's cellular phone rings in this class, I will take a moment to demonstrate the destruction of a small electronic device."
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Samuel Gorovitz, Making Decisions
Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: June 1, 2004 |
| Rating: 9 |
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Why do you say x nought instead of x zero? Because it's fewer syllables, and it sounds pretentious.
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Prof Orrison, Linear Algebra 2
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 3, 2004 |
I love being in Orrison's class... he delivers at least one amusing comment each lecture.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Well, do YOU know your little wizard?!
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Dr. Rachal Blas, Personality
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 3, 2004 |
Answering a question about Jung's Theory of the self
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| Rating: unrated |
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“Once the “honeydew” forms on the back-end of the aphid, researchers anesthetize the aphid and cut off its mouth in order to measure the positive pressure [of the phloem in any given tree].”
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Dr. Towell, Plant Physiology
Arizona State University, Tempe, AZ
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 4, 2004 |
If you’re cutting an aphid’s mouth off, does it really matter if you anesthetize it?
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Whoever did this should die...die...die a slow death...like stomach cancer...slow and painful."
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Mr. J. DiCarlucci,
Ossining, Ossining, New York
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: June 5, 2004 |
Upon finding out that the bulb in the overhead projector does not work...because the person who used beforehand did not change it!
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| Rating: 6.33333 |
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I was going to have your lab reports graded for you today, but it turned out that grading them was a two six-pack job and I only had one six-pack.
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Vagners, AA448, Control Systems Laboratory
University of Washington, Seattle, WA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: June 5, 2004 |
We were never really sure if you wanted to get graded at the beginning of the evening or at the end...
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| Rating: 9.66667 |
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A lot of what people compose using 12-tone technique goes straight into the waste paper basket. Or, at least, it should...
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B.J., Music Theory
Xxx Academy of Music, Xxx, Sweden
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 6, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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This is extra. A little bonus for today. James Dean is Satan. A lot of people don't know that, but...
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Dr. Dennis Hoilman, Honors 202 (Humanities)
Ball State University, Muncie, Indiana
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 7, 2004 |
Just completely out of nowhere... ah, Dr. Hoilman.
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| Rating: 7 |
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I'm sorry, but it's by job to object to everything you say.
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Dr. Dennis Hoilman, Honors 202 (Humanities)
Ball State University, Muncie, Indiana
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: June 7, 2004 |
And he did.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Prof: "Who's your favorite poet?"
Student: "Edgar Allan Poe."
Prof: "You're right! Emily Dickenson."
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Dr. Dennis Hoilman, Honors 201 (Humanities)
Ball State University, Muncie, Indiana
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 7, 2004 |
Typical Hoilman.
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| Rating: unrated |
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You girls can come to me during office hours. I'll be sippin some Chinese tea, they say it's quite an aphrodisiac, eh.
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Prof. N. Sancho, Calculus 151
McGill University, Montreal, QC
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 10, 2004 |
The old prof getting lonely, but wants it known he can still hold his own, albeit with a little help.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I don't know why you all are worried about the midterm; I'm not.
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Tim Watters, Intro to Logic
Whatcom Community College, Bellingham, WA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 11, 2004 |
Tim is full of funny stuff, but most of it is completely lost out of context. This one followed about 10 minutes of questions about the upcoming midterm.
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| Rating: 10 |
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That is the Pedestrian way to do it, you are walking , while I am driving my car.
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Gilles Cazelais, Discrete Mathematics
Camosun College, Victoria, BC
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: June 12, 2004 |
Not quite the same without a bit of frothing and a heavy french Canadian accent
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| Rating: 8 |
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Prof. Christof Koch: "So here are the responses to different pictures".
Prof. Tishby: "Are these responses from the same subject, the same neurons?"
Prof. Koch: "These are all responses from one neuron."
Prof. Tishby: "Yes, yes, but are they from the same person?"
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Prof. Tali Tishby, Computational Neuroscience semina
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 21, 2004 |
This is what happens when brain scientists sit for too many years in the computer science department...
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Well, let's see.....go back nine months and you have December.....well, it's cold and there's nothing better to do"
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Dr. Ann Rittenbaum, Latin
Ladue Horton Watkins High School, St. Louis, Missouri
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Comments? Add
or View (8)
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submitted: June 22, 2004 |
On why most babies are born in August
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| Rating: unrated |
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"You know.....STEALTH Republicans"
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Mr. Sonius, AP Government and Politics
Ladue Horton Watkins High School, St. Louis, Missouri
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: June 22, 2004 |
On Independent voters who vote as if they were registered Republicans
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| Rating: 7 |
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Oh, come on! You know the Scots are good for nothing.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
She's English. We were discussing Jonathan Swift and somehow got on to haggis.
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| Rating: 6 |
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I'll answer to Amy. Actually, I'll anwswer to anything except 'Hey, bitch'.
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Dr. Amy White, Into to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
| Rating: 9.66667 |
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The Scottish are a disagreeable sort--always drunk and interrupting ‘God Save The Queen” with comments that are strange and off-putting.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
| Rating: 8 |
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I could turn you off...it would involve a machete, but I could do it.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
During a discussion on AI and whether we're different than computers.
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| Rating: 9 |
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Student: Would YOU want YOUR baby eaten?
Amy: Well, yes, if that’s what I sold it for.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
Discussing Swift's "A Modest Proposal"
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| Rating: 8.5 |
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I kept a pet boy in my closet.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
How she got kicked out of a boarding school.
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| Rating: 8.5 |
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I came on to a nun.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
How she got kicked out of yet another boarding school.
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| Rating: 9 |
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All the sheep in that country! Never shag a Scottsman--you don’t know where he’s been.
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Dr. Amy White, Intro to Philosophy
Kirkwood Community College, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: June 26, 2004 |
I'm beginning to sense some tension.
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| Rating: 9 |
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