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Next, the Transitional Period. Well, everything's transitional, really. I mean, something came before it and something came after. Ok, next topic.
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Unable To Recall The Name, Art History
Reed College, Portland, Oregon
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
Art History class, and he really did move on to the next topic.
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| Rating: unrated |
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To solve this problem we're going to use the power of rational thought and colored chalk.
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, Mathematics
Reed College, Portland, Oregon
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
Reportedly uttered by a math prof.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"You were a boyscout, now tell the truth!"
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Dr. Deann Merchant, General Psychology
Amarillo College, Amarillo, Texas
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
| Rating: 6 |
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For some reason I was thinking 27 was less than 24. But it's not.
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Chris Stone, Data Structures
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
After attempting to put a node in the wrong place in a binary search tree.
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| Rating: 10 |
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It's like lemonade, without the sugar. And without the lemons.
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Dr. Denner, Russian 201
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
| Rating: 8.5 |
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The Russians say you can't say "kmnye" because there are too many consonants in a row. Of course, we all know that's a lie- they can pronounce 28 consonants in a row.
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Dr. Denner, Russian 201
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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Comments? Add
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submitted: December 2, 2004 |
Words like "zdrafstvuchye" really make this statement frighteningly realistic.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof : [repeatedly using the phrase sec^2(x), which with his french accent sounded like sex qer dex]
Student: Sir, why can you only have sex with two?
[class bursts into laughs]
Prof: It depends on your periodicity.
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Prof. Jaques Verstraete, MATH 137 Claculus
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Porf:[drawing sitckmen on the blackborad]And here you can see the astronauts floating around the spacestation, going to the union meeting, oh, and lets not forget the little spacedoggie. There. Let's give him some alien antenae too.
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Dr. Chris O'Donovan, Phys 121
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, ON
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
Actual part of a solution to an angular momentum problem.
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| Rating: unrated |
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And, you see, because of conservation of angular momentum, when some astronauts move towards the center of the space station, the ones near the edge experience more gravitational acceleration. So if enough of them move, the ones on the rim will get splattered... i guess that's an efficient way to get rid of them.
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Dr. Chris O'Donovan, Phys 121
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
Top efficiency...
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| Rating: 8 |
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So we get an error of 8 over 20, which isn't what we wanted, but i'm lazy so i'll just go back and change the problem requirements.
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J. Verstraete, MATH 137 Calculus
University of waterloo, Waterloo, ON
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
Good ol' math...
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: "Why can't we use 'U' as a variable?"
Teacher: "Because I don't like 'U'"
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Mr. Metzler, Trig/Precal
Albuquerque Academy, Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Comments? Add
or View (5)
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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If it wasn't for disequilibrium, metamorphic petrology would be even more boring than it is.
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Mark S. Ghiorso, Thermodynamics and Phase Change
University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois
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submitted: December 3, 2004 |
He was then stuttered for about thirty seconds about how he really didn't mean it. I think he also may have backtracked at the beginning of next class.
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| Rating: 9 |
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Next year you all get to take Geometry, so I guess right now you could say, "Gee, I'm a sapling."
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Mr. Lewis, Algebra 1 Honors
Southwest Jr. High, Palm Bay, FL
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submitted: December 5, 2004 |
Was going through my 8th grade journal and found where I made fun of my Algebra 1 teacher in it for saying this. Just thought someone might enjoy this bad joke of using geometry as gee-I'm-a-tree. Kinda stupid, but someone might get a kick out of it. Note this is an old quote from Spring of 1997.
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| Rating: 7.33333 |
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And now we have this differential equation, which we don't know how to solve, so it's okay if we just guess at the answer.
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Dr. George Glander, PS 201- University Physics
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: December 5, 2004 |
From a course my friend is taking, and also said when I took the same course last year. Another reason why physics is inferior compared to math.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I apologize to the mathematicians in the room, but in order to make this easier to solve, we are going to make a "bad" assumption, and this really is a horrible assumption, but we have to make it.
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Dr. Kevin Riggs, PS 341 - Modern Physics
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: December 5, 2004 |
It's never a good sign, when a professor starts out, "I apologize to the mathematicians in the room..."
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| Rating: unrated |
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Professor:
Since there are a lot of equations to remember, you can write them down on a piece of paper.
Student:
Can it be front back?
Professor:
If you fold it in half you can, otherwise if you don't fold it in half, you can only use one side.
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Shu Ming Sun, MATH 2214 Intro to Differential Equations
Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA
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submitted: December 6, 2004 |
Our Differential equations professor explaining that
we're only allowed to use a single sided equation sheet.
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| Rating: 7 |
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This is pronounced "n factorial grows fast factorial".
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Prof Ran, Bio52
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
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submitted: December 7, 2004 |
The heading of the slide was "n! grows fast!"
While guest-lecturing the intro biology class, about neural networks
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| Rating: 7.33333 |
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A vector field is like a corn field: in a corn field, there are vectors every where, in a vector field, there are vectors everywhere.
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Professor Denis Aurox, 18.02 - Multivariable Calculus
MIT, Cambridge,
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submitted: December 7, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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This is the sort of thing you should never, never do.
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Prof. Barton Zwiebach, 8.02T Electricity and Magnetism
MIT, Cambridge,
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submitted: December 7, 2004 |
Before suddenly turning off a circuit with a huge inductance on it.
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| Rating: 9 |
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Oh, by the way, don't swim in the Dead Sea if you have Hemorrhoids (class laughs)...you think I'm joking?
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Dr. J. Boyce, 3E03 Sedimentology and Stratigraphy
McMaster University, Hamilton, ON
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submitted: December 7, 2004 |
We were talking about evaporites...which somehow got us to talking about swimmming in the Dead sea....
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| Rating: unrated |
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Love is not a pie; it's a mathematical equation.
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Lanfur, Human Situation
University of Houston central, Houston, TX
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submitted: December 8, 2004 |
Somehow this had to do with the Bible. Don't ask me how.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Offhand it would seem that a mouse might experience excruciating pain when I light it on fire, even though it isn't sophisticated enough to have thoughts about itself: it can't think, for instance, 'Oh boy, I'm on fire now!'"
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David Barnett, Philosophy
University of Vermont, Burlington, Vermont
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Comments? Add
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submitted: December 8, 2004 |
| Rating: 9 |
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Catholics invented bureaucracy.
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Dr. David Wilson-Okamura, From Homer to Dante
East Carolina University, Greenville, NC
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submitted: December 8, 2004 |
In a conversation on Dante's Paradiso, he was commentating on the use of Mary as an intermediary between people and God.
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| Rating: unrated |
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And by the way, it's getting warm in this classroom, so as I start taking off my clothes, it has nothing to do with you.
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Prof Asai, Bio52
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: December 9, 2004 |
As a bit of explanation, he came into class wearing a rather bulky sperm costume.
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| Rating: unrated |
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It's truly been a pleasure to teach you. I can't believe I said that with a straight face.
*opens champaigne bottle*
Random student in the back of the auditorium: Sharing means caring!
Sadoway: And tenure means never having to say you're sorry
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Dr Sadoway, 3.091
MIT, Cambridge, MA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: December 9, 2004 |
He was using the champaigne to describe phase diagrams while simultaneously celebrating the end of the semester
There were tons of memorable quotes from this lecture. It's too bad I didn't write them down.
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| Rating: 9.8 |
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page 1 of 2 (45 quotes) Next |
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