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Jump to page:
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"Less talking more typing"
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Mr. McCabe, Information Technology
WACTC, Woonsocket, RI
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 2, 2005 |
Said when it gets a little chatty in Information Technology.
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| Rating: 1 |
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If I had to be crushed to death, it would be under a crate of hot pants from Indonesia.
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Alex John London, Research Ethics
Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
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submitted: March 4, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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That amount of cash makes diarrhea worth doing.
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Alex John London, Research Ethics
Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
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submitted: March 4, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"You do not want to put your mouth over a cow's behind."
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Mr. D, Math Six
Ossining High School, Ossining, NY
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submitted: March 4, 2005 |
(Talking about methane gas.)
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| Rating: unrated |
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The only way to get good at something is by doing it, not by watching. For instance, you can't become a good lover by watching X-rated movies.
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Dave Pray, Engineering Statistics - MA3710
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, Michigan
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submitted: March 5, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"if you write about sex and fornication, then you'll get an 'A'."
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Dr. Ernest Fontana, Intro to Poetry
Xavier University, Cincinnati, OH
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submitted: March 5, 2005 |
I asked Fontana how to do better in his class, after receiving a 20% on my first paper, and he told me that. I refused and got a low grade.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Victor Hugo has a line that reads something like 'Never insult a lady when she falls', whereas Baudelaire would be like 'Trip the bitch!'"
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Laura Penny, Foundation Year Programme
University of King's College, Halifax, NS
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submitted: March 5, 2005 |
Best. Baudelaire. Lecture. Ever.
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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Are you sure grapefruits are not green?...
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Prof. Hagai Bergman,
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 5, 2005 |
While asking a student of his to get him a grapefruit juice fron the cafeteria.
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| Rating: unrated |
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My father told me once: A man should count until 10 before he says something. You, Hochberg, my son, should count until 100 and not say.
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Prof. Avraham Hochberg, Biochemistry
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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submitted: March 5, 2005 |
The troubling thing is - did his father really call him by his last name?... By the way, it didn't really help - He still says the most un-politically-correct things.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, they've always been functions we just didn't tell you in fourth grade because we did not want you to suicide!"
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Dr. Spina, Calculus 1300
University of Colorado, Boulder, CO
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submitted: March 6, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"You are the dumbest student I have ever had."
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Dr. Sengoda Ganesan, MEE 220
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"We chop carrots, we put in pot, we make cake"
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Dr. Sengoda Ganesan, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"I am going to Dr. Miller, and say, 'you have Denis in your class. Flunk his ass!'"
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Dr. Sengoda Ganesan, MEE 220
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"The TA complains I give you too much homework. I say, give them all zeros, easier to grade"
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Dr. Sengoda Ganesan, MEE 331
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Ganesan:"Therefore, we will have the exam Friday"
TA:"Shouldn't you tell the students?"
Ganesan:"No, easier to grade"
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Dr. Sengoda Ganesan, MEE 331
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: 8.5 |
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(To student who comes to quiz without a book)
"You failed to use the buddy system. Here, you don't need to take this"
takes the quiz out of his hand
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Dr. Scott Short, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Wow, there's alot of you in here, there's not enough jobs out there for everyone"
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Dr. Scott Short, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"I don't want to be your buddy, I want you to come back here in five years and say, 'Short, you were a son of a bitch, but you made me learn!!!'"
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Dr. Scott Short, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Lecture on ethics:
"I knew I was killing fish when we dumped that waste into the river, but I had my job to think about."
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Dr. Scott Short, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"I have to sign off on my TA's masters thesis, so I hold their fate in my hands. Technically I own them"
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Dr. Scott Short, MEE 330
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"If I ask you why you have an answer, and you say, 'because I have a PhD', I will spit in your face"
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Dr. Vincent McGinn, ELE 210
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: March 9, 2005 |
| Rating: 10 |
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I'm pretty sure the GRADES will be good regardless of what the SCORES are.
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Dr. Beachy, Math 521
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 11, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"The scantron machine is a magical appliance. It makes noises when the tests whiz through it, as if it's upset with wrong answers. I'm really, really tall."
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Mr. Davis, Global History Honors
Roslyn High School, Roslyn, NY
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submitted: March 12, 2005 |
Mr. Davis quoted in our school newspaper. and he is really really tall (like 6'5")
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| Rating: 10 |
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Reading Dilbert is better education than you will ever receive in a business school.
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Dr. Boyd, Business Finance, FIN 311
Stetson University, DeLand, Florida
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 15, 2005 |
After stating that a 9% average inflation rate over 20 years would make him want to move to Elbonia.
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| Rating: unrated |
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-Look at the foot of this page. This is just an expression of course because pages don't have feet.
-This will take a few moments. Got any funny stories?
-Here's your Visor, preassembled and ready for folding.
-(At the Friends of Hoban banquet) I love you, I love you more, I love you even more, I hate you
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Brother Joe LeBon, Newspaper
Archbishop Hoban High School, Akron, Ohio
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: March 15, 2005 |
There's always those great Brother Joe stories that are unquotable, such about his days spent taking tap dancing lessons, wearing pink pants, and shouting "crucify him" on the playground.
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| Rating: unrated |
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