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There are a lot of first rules of engineering.
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Dr. John Solie, Machinery Design
Oklahoma State Univeristy, Stillwater, OK
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submitted: November 4, 2006 |
| Rating: 7 |
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"Then we have Mike on top of Nancy or Nancy on top of Mike. Don't say anything."
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Glen Hurlbert, Cryptography
ASU, Tempe, AZ
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submitted: November 4, 2006 |
m/n or n/m in a variation of the phonetic alphabet
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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What happens when you go into war without the right gun? You die!!
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Young Lee, IDES 343, Interior Design Presentation and Media
Michigan State University, ,
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submitted: November 8, 2006 |
This is our prof's way of convincing us to buy more markers to complete our projects
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| Rating: 9 |
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Whoever gets the biggest blob gets banana bonus points!!
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Dr. Hale, Bio Lab
Cedar Crest College, Allentown, Pennsylvania
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submitted: November 9, 2006 |
We were doing a DNA lab from bananas
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| Rating: unrated |
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Once you have Plutonium the rest is just chemistry, and as we all know, chemistry is easy.
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Tony Arber, Physics of electrical power generation
University of Warwick, ,
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submitted: November 10, 2006 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Find somebody with a very large fridge, put it behind it and hope they don't notice.
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Tony Arber, Physics of electrical power generation
University of Warwick, ,
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submitted: November 10, 2006 |
The solution to disposing of nuclear waste.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"Everyone has a favorite saint, Myself....I prefer doctors..."
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economoic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb,, IL
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
In reference to people praying to saints to cure illness, talking about the disease "St. Anthony's Fire."
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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...Say you have this parasite in this pear shaped muscle, and it's attached to you...[he draws a picture of a baby in a uterus].
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
| Rating: 8.8 |
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1. "Peace, peace my children." [trying to quiet the class before it starts]
2. "Ok, quiet down...i know you're all excited to tell your friends about your exciting sex and alcohol filled weekends."
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
Both said at the begining of classes. #2 is said in some form or another, every Monday.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"Alfred the Great was sort of a ninth century metrosexual."
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Dr. Brasington, Anglo-Saxon History Grad Seminar
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"And the Germans think the Austrians are good only for writing waltzes and eating cake!"
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Dr. Brasington, World War I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
On the German/Austrian relationship early in WWI
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| Rating: unrated |
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"On the western front, you have mudslides. In Italy, you have avalanches. Isn't war fun?"
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Dr. Brasington, World War I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Not the most accurate, but if a plane is 5000 feet up and an iron arrow is dropped on your head, you're going to die."
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Dr. Brasington, World War I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
On the early use of aviation in warfare
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| Rating: 10 |
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"And as far as we know, the dead did not fight on behalf of the French!"
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Dr. Brasington, World War I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
On the White Batallion, which romanticized the position of the French army on the verge of collapse by suggesting that they were well supported by women and the dead
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| Rating: 9 |
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"Orlando...was about the most ruthless person you're ever going to find. I mean Machiavelli would have taken him to the prom."
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Dr. Brasington, World War I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
On Italian Prime Minister Vittorio Orlando
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Now, if I'm dragging a dead elk into my office from the hallway, it's the accusative, but if I'm just dragging it around the room, it's the ablative."
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Dr. Brasington, Latin I
West Texas A&M, ,
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submitted: November 16, 2006 |
On when to use the ablative or accusative with the preposition 'in' in Latin
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| Rating: 6 |
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Do any of you remember the [insert random 1980's TV commercial here]? No? [He shakes his head] You all need to watch way more television.
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 17, 2006 |
| Rating: 2 |
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Teacher: "So is it 3:30 yet?"
Student 1: "Sir, it's 2."
Teacher: "Is it 3:30 yet?"
Student 1: "Sir, it's 2."
Teacher: "You don't get it. You, is it 3:30 yet?"
Student 2: "It's 3:30."
Teacher: "Good, so we're done."
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Saxe, VB
Vanier College, Montreal, Quebec
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submitted: November 17, 2006 |
| Rating: 8.66667 |
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"You know...it's like East and West antlers. In the East we count the whole rack, and in the West they count half the rack........[smiles] What the hell does that have to do with anything, right?”
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Joe Bittorf, Tech 391 - Industrial Quality Control
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 17, 2006 |
Explaining the difference between 3Sigma and 6Sigma.
Joe is actually quite an eloquent man.
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| Rating: 7 |
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"they eat cow pies in Wisconsin. [he explains the difference between real and chocolate cow pies] Really! You think i'm making this stuff up just for ratings!?"
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 21, 2006 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"you can BELIEVE you'll fly if you jump off the building, but i'll bet my dollars on science that you'll fall....and DIE."
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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submitted: November 21, 2006 |
Toth correlating between hallucinogenic plants/substances with fantasy beliefs/faith. One of his many inconspicuous pot-shots at religion :-D
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| Rating: 10 |
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"if you try to smuggle this stuff [Opium Poppy] into the U.S. they'll slap your wrist. If you try to smuggle this into, say, Turkey you go to prison for infinity, eating cockroaches, being molested by big ugly men........I don't recommend it."
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Dr. Ronald Toth, BIOS 101 - Economic Botany
Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, IL
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: November 21, 2006 |
I love Toth's often deadpan, blunt comedy. He was on a roll last Friday! [11-17]
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| Rating: 8.5 |
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"Alright, let's make like a fetus, and head out!"
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Mr. Jim Corcoran, AP Environmental Science
Carl Sandburg High School, Orland Park, IL
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submitted: November 23, 2006 |
class leaving for an assembly.
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| Rating: 7 |
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Dr.Parsons: I'm telling you all, don't have babies until you're 30, it's the most important decision of your life!
Student 1: God, she says this every class.
Student 2: And she'll keep saying it until you believe it.
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Dr.Parsons, Comparative Perspectives on Gender
Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia
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submitted: November 23, 2006 |
The life advice arrives like clockwork.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Case 4: You do not know how to do any of the above. Then, you are screwed."
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Professor Sahakian, Electromagnetism and Optics
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
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submitted: November 25, 2006 |
He was reviewing three possible different scenarios for a physics problem, and how to solve it in each scenario. This was the final case, which he covered very succintly.
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| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 2 (36 quotes) Next |
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