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I a single day millions of people are having sex, involving an estimated 6 billion litres af semen... thats enough to put you off your breakfast.... your yoghurt anyway.
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Prof. Jim Houghton, 2nd Micro
National University of Ireland, Galway, Galway, Ireland
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submitted: August 2, 2007 |
A morning lecture in reproduction
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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Its stops them using the reproductive technique that they use. They can't get it into the lady alligators.
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Prof. MJ Hynes, chem/ecotox 2
National University of Ireland, Galway, Galway, Ireland
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submitted: August 2, 2007 |
Discussing the detrimental effects of DDT on alligators
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| Rating: unrated |
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"It is truly amazing to me that you have the chutzpah to inform your professor in writing that you 'just say screw it'."
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Anthony Patti, American Government
Eastern Michigan Univ., Ypsilanti, Michigan
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submitted: August 17, 2007 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"So why did you really join my class? Is it because I'm so attractive and you just want to look at me? I hope it's not because you really wanted to learn economics...because that's not happening."
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Kishore G. Kulkarni, Microeconomics
Colorado School of Mines, Golden,
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submitted: August 23, 2007 |
This coming from a short, balding, Indian man made it all the more hilarious.
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| Rating: 10 |
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What computers can so is math, really fast. And we equate people who can do math, really fast, with being smart. Thats not neccasarily true, they could be jsut Autistic....
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Bob Warnick, cpts 401
Washington State Universtiy, Pullman, Washington
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submitted: August 24, 2007 |
Spoken while discussing computer intelligence
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| Rating: unrated |
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I don't want you to learn. I just wanna get through my lecture notes.
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Dr. Kottke, ME 3720
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA
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submitted: August 24, 2007 |
Above quote came after several questions were asked and professor said "Y'all ask too many questions" and a student's reply of "But that's how we learn"
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| Rating: 10 |
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I still have awkward sex and I'm way past my honeymoon.
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Annie-on-a-Moose,
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
We were discussing the Facebook Group "I'm Saving Myself for Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex"
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| Rating: unrated |
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K: First, I'm going to tell you about a Valentine's Day Present I have for all of you... the first exam!
S: I knew you cared!
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Huzzah for Dr. K!
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| Rating: 1 |
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For most of you this is not a class that is going to cause you a great deal of excitement.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
He was completely right.
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| Rating: 1 |
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State and Local Government doesn’t have a lot of glamour or sex appeal.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
I don't think he wanted to teach it any more than we wanted to sit through it.
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| Rating: unrated |
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A steady diet of Jerry Springer will turn your brain to mush, trust me.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
I don't even recall the context of this comment.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I’d play the red seven on the black eight.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
I have a bad habit of playing games in some classes. Klostermeyer knows this. He chooses not to care.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Other than Sean, who was dropped on his head a number of times as a child from great heights, no one is in favor of higher taxes.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
I don't make enough money, at the present to be taxed. Naturally, I don't care if the tax rate goes up.
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| Rating: unrated |
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As well as a little bit of New Deal action starring FDR, I will see you next Tuesday.
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Dr. Timothy Wood, Recent U.S. History
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
The closing words of Dr. Wood telling us about next class period's lecture.
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| Rating: unrated |
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As soon as Dr. Smith leaves the room we’ll be able to start… no I’m just joking, stick around, ya might learn something… We love ya baby.
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Dr. James Smith, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Dr. Smith taught in the same classroom right before Klostermeyer did, much to his chagrin.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If I really wanted to be in this for the money I’d go out and chase ambulances, especially the parked ones… you get a flat nose doing that.
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Dr. Bob Klostermeyer, State and Local Government
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
I don't honestly recall why he said this.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I apologize for the font. It’s called Creepy Font, with blood dripping from the letters. But, for whatever reason the SBU computers here don’t recognize it. So, it doesn’t look nearly as creepy.
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Dr. Kelly Martin, Serial Killers
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Dr. Martin apologizing for the lack of creepiness in the font on his power point presentation.
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| Rating: unrated |
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It’s sort of a theory that has been embraced in Spain during this time, though it was dismissed in America except by the nutcase that shot William McKinley… and that’s anarchism.
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Dr. Timothy Wood, Recent U.S. History
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Dr. Wood explaining anarchy.
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| Rating: unrated |
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First we’re going to talk about the church of Satan…
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Dr. Kelly Martin, Serial Killers
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Dr. Martin explaining that some serial killers have been members of the church of satan.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Let’s get with Satanism… the devil made him do that.
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Dr. Kelly Martin, Serial Killers
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
More from Dr. Martin on the Church of Satan in Serial Killers class.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Bioterrorism is the intentional use of any micro-orgasm…
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Dr. Kelly Martin, Terrorism
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, MO
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submitted: August 25, 2007 |
Dr. Martin having a slip of the tongue. He meant to say 'Micro-organism'.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"Obviously it’s God’s will that I not like Calvinists."
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Dr. J. Brad Chance, Introduction to Religion
William Jewell College, Liberty, MO
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submitted: August 28, 2007 |
A quip on predestination.
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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