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...but we don't learn exotic pole dancing. If the state of Colorado thought it became necessary for children to learn exotic pole dancing, they would put it in the standards of education, and then we would all have to learn exotic pole dancing, and it would indeed be on the CSAP test.
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Mr. McCabe, AP U.S. History
Lakewood High School (IB Program), Lakewood, Colorado
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submitted: March 1, 2009 |
We were discussing the validity of the subject matter on the state-mandated CSAP tests. Mr. McCabe will surprise you now and then...
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| Rating: 10 |
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I made that up, it won't be on the test, and don't tell anyone I said that because it's all bullshit.
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Art, Art HIstory
UPS, Tacoma, wa
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submitted: March 1, 2009 |
My Art History professor talking about a Dutch painting he liked and had a theory about.
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| Rating: 9.25 |
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Why don't YOU go fetch new batteries for the microphone. If I drop the chalk we're behind schedule.
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Dr Arnold Muller, Engineering Maths
University of Stellenbosch, Stellenbosch, Western Cape
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submitted: March 3, 2009 |
Upon a student at the back of the class complaining that he can't hear.
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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Pre-Civilization warfare consisted of maybe beating each other with clubs, then you'd carry of some of their women....
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Dr. Allen W Batteau, Intro to Anthro
Wayne State U, Detroit, Mi
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submitted: March 4, 2009 |
Just happened.
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| Rating: 4.33333 |
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"So you guys think I'm not hip, but let me tell you, I just bought the new Green Day album this week. It's pretty good, I like it. But why do they have to keep saying 'faggot America'? Can't they just say 'homosexual-American America'?"
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Mr. Lork, AP Stats
Lockport Township High School, Lockport, IL
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submitted: March 6, 2009 |
this was 4 years ago when American Idiot came out, but I just found this site and to this day i've never forgotten that
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| Rating: 4.33333 |
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Student: But mine ends with the grandmother...
Dr. Rubin: Who translated this? Helen Keller?
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Dr. Jason Rubin, Romantacism and Realism
Washington College, Chestertown, Maryland
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submitted: March 6, 2009 |
The class was comparing their different translations of the play Woyzeck.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Mummy, Mummy! Guess what I learned in school today! McDonald's is breasts and fascists are funny!
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Professor Strasser, Music Marketing
Northeastern University, Boston, MA
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submitted: March 6, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"Right now you can hear classes all over the building sucking"
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Prof Johnson, english 160
University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, Illinois
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submitted: March 7, 2009 |
| Rating: 9 |
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"even a blind monkey banging on the keyboard will eventually get the right code"
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Prof John Bell, CS 109
University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, Illinois
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submitted: March 7, 2009 |
This after someone asked about wouldn't all the codes look the same
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The American Indians were Fucked by the Five Fickle Fingers of Fate."
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Dr. Hawk, Intro to the North American Indians
Eastern New Mexico University, Portales, New Mexico
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submitted: March 8, 2009 |
This was my favorite quote from Dr. Hawk. He was an AmerIndian himself and had tenure. An extremely memorable quote from an amazing Proff. I remember it from 1990. RIP Dr. Hawk.
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| Rating: unrated |
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How was the exam?
-What I expected
-Somewhat harder than I expected
-Like I got herpes from a $500 hooker
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, CSA
Miami University, ,
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submitted: March 8, 2009 |
This was written on the white board from the class before mine. I am NOT taking that class.
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| Rating: 9.25 |
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Okay class, I found the definition on urbandictionary.com. "Fisty. Someone angry or upset, ready to get into a fight. Also a woman who enjoys...oh my."
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Mrs. Fonden, English 10 H
Westford Academy, Westford, Ma
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submitted: March 8, 2009 |
The word fisty appears in the book The Catcher in the Rye. We asked our teacher for a definition. Hilarity ensued.
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| Rating: 7.66667 |
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"Forget all that happy crap you learned in high school..."
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Mr. Nelson Smith, Pre-Calculus
Augusta State University, Augusta, Ga
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submitted: March 11, 2009 |
First day of my freshman year in college...
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| Rating: 5.6 |
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"...it makes sense. When the tiger is chasing you, you dont have time to think 'heart beat faster!', and the tiger will eat you"
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Dr. Zhorov, Biochem 2EE3, Metabolism
McMaster University, Hamilton, Ontario
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submitted: March 12, 2009 |
His infamous "run from the tiger" scenario which he somehow manages to use as an example for everything.
Dr. Zhorov, BIOCHEM 2EE3, Metabolism
McMaster University, Hamilton, ON
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| Rating: unrated |
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No animals were killed in the making of this demonstration.
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Dr. Turgay Uzer, Physics 2211
Georgia Institute of Technology, ,
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submitted: March 12, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Sorry I'm late, I was making copies and the machine wasn't working properly. Apparently it's made by NASA. Tiles were flying everywhere.
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, Political Science Research Methods
, ,
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submitted: March 19, 2009 |
This was a day after the Columbia explosion.
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| Rating: 4.5 |
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What happens when you get punched in the medulla oblongata? You die.
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Dr. Zanetti, Developmental Biology
Siena College, ,
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submitted: March 20, 2009 |
The sad thing is, this was said entirely seriously one day in class. It just sounds like a really bad joke to me.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"...and Teddy Roosevelt employed a method of showing off our naval might, which he called Big Dick diplomacy... oh crap" *face turns bright red*
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Ms. Sanchez, AP US History
, Norcross, Georgia
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submitted: March 21, 2009 |
| Rating: 8 |
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[Teacher to class] "You guys just don't get it. You can't have a negative velocity!"
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Mrs. Ancel, Triginomentry/Pre-Calc
Carrollton High School, Saginaw, MI
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submitted: March 22, 2009 |
It was my math teacher trying to tell us (the class) that what we had learned in physics class was wrong.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Quit froggin' around you guys and trig out the triangle!"
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Mr. Dalton, Physics
Carrollton High School, Saginaw, MI
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submitted: March 22, 2009 |
My physics teacher yelled this to us one day when we chose not to work on our homework on vectors.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"If Chuck Norris were to judo chop you in half horizontally at the waist, what kind of cut would it be?"
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Mr. Bunn, Anatomy and Physiology
Carrollton High School, Saginaw, MI
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submitted: March 22, 2009 |
This was a question from an anatomy and physiology exam.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: "Do they teach you to kick for the... in the judo class that you're taking?"
Teacher: "Yeah, and they are teaching my husband how to block my kick."
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Mrs. Talik, Honors Chemistry
Carrollton High School, Saginaw, MI
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submitted: March 22, 2009 |
My chemistry teacher mentioned that she was taking a judo class.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I wanted be an FBI agent or something until we visited a prison in one of my political science classes. We ended up having to leave half way through the tour. It was like I was the only female they had seen in years. That's why I'm here."
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Mrs. Becker, Civics/Economics
Carrollton High School, Saginaw, MI
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submitted: March 22, 2009 |
My economics teacher was telling us about what she wanted to be and how she got stuck with us.
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| Rating: unrated |
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To do this problem, remember that you must use the force.
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Dr. Kong (AKA Jedi Master), Math 360
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: March 24, 2009 |
talking about gravitational force
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| Rating: unrated |
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An abstract must be concrete!
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Prof Ghil'ad Zuckermann, Linguistics
The University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia
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submitted: March 30, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 2 (25 quotes) Next |
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