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I believe in finding your purpose in life and doing whatever it takes or you feel inside to fulfill it. I believe in the human spirit and am amazed at how strong and capable we are when confronted with challenges and opportunities.
Joseph Andreula, Karate
Webster, Weehawken, NJ

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: December 9, 2008

1996- this quote was said to 72 karate students ranging from 5-12 years old by Joe Andreula Instructor of the Weehawken Recereation Karate Program.
Rating: 10

You will come in with clean sheets of paper, and a very soiled mind.
Dr. Ralph Showalter, MTH 411/511 - Real Analysis
Oregon State University, Corvallis, Oregon

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: December 5, 2008

About the final
Rating: unrated

No matter how together the subs seem, never trust them.
Sra. Kalember, Spanish III
Gaylord High School, Gaylord, MI

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: December 2, 2008

Talking about substitute teachers
Rating: unrated

To a TA regarding the computer:"Why is this this way? Make it not so."
Dr. Cyrus Azimi, Abnormal Psychology
UCF, Orlando, FL

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: December 1, 2008

The human mind is easy, but Microsoft Word?
Rating: unrated

Partial derivatives are about colored chalk.
Prof. Thomas Banchoff, MATH0350
Brown University, Providence, RI

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 17, 2008

So we're in class, about to do a problem in the introduction of partial derivatives, and suddenly Prof. Banchoff turns to the TA and says "Run up to my office and get some chalk, I can't do this without colored chalk." After the TA leaves the room, Prof. Banchoff turns to the class and says "Partial derivatives are about colored chalk."
Rating: 8

I stareted to collect virgins for our cross on Monday. It should take just a few minutes to set up crosses.
Dr. Lev Yampolsky, Topics in Ecology and Evolution: Specication
East Tennessee State Univeristy, Johnson City, TN

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 14, 2008

This was sent as an e-mail to all the students with no reference as to what he was talking about. We later found out that he was of course talking about fruit flies.
Rating: unrated

"I am not three-dimensional!"
Bosco Leung, ECE 241
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 10, 2008

yes you are
Rating: unrated

You can't hold minus three bananas. You cannot walk around and see negative people in the corridor - not unless they're art students.
Dr Szymanski, Maths for Electronic Engineering
The University of York, ,

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 9, 2008

Our first lecture on complex numbers.
Rating: 9

Look at you! I've been up here insulting you for the past 10 minutes and you're all writing it down!
Larry Smith, Microeconomics
University of Waterloo, ,

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 5, 2008

A discussion on how the baby boomers remade the cultural norm, and how our fashion styles resembe our parents'.
Rating: 5e+12

"Jeopardy" is like Fight Club, no one talks about "Jeopardy"
Dr. Richard House, RH311-Technical Communications
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

In response to the class grilling the professor about how he'd done on Jeopardy between the time that he'd recorded his episodes and the time that they aired.
Rating: unrated

*Professor writes int(1/x) on the board, or some related equation thereof, as a long part of an equation* *Professor calls on girl in front of the room to help the class move along and make sure people are involved* *girl is having a calculus blank and can't remember* Professor: Do you have a fireplace?... *1/3 the class erupts into laughter/groaning*
Dr. James Mayhew, ME461-Aeronautical Design
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

If you can see where his prompt is going, congratulations! You're as much of a nerd as the rest of us in the class lauging were. Unfortunately his little prompt/lead-in/metaphor ended up going on for a few minutes until the very last person to get the joke was the girl being called on. For those who don't know why this is funny: int(1/x) = ln(x), pronounced "natural log of x." Yes, it was that bad...
Rating: unrated

Convolutions are things that should only be done in the privacy of your own bedroom.
Dr. Eccles, ECE200-Circuits and Systems
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

I have since learned that he says this every single time he teaches the class, but it is a great way to see who's still awake that day. This is in reference to calculating properties of AC circuits, beyond that, I don't remember.
Rating: unrated

Maybe we can ask the bird about what happens when a signal gets flipped...
Dr. Michaela Radu, ECE333-Digital Systems
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

Stated angrily in a Romanian accent while the class was distracted by a cardinal continuously braining itself against the window for the fourth day in a row during class. I swear, none of us in the room caught it. I only remembered her saying it and it occurring to me later how wonderfully random it was.
Rating: unrated

Today we're going to talk about facebook and spontaneous combustion.
Dr. Richard House, RH311-Technical Communication
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

<3<3<3 this prof. Best English prof at an Engineering school ever. (He was also on Jeopardy =P)
Rating: unrated

pi/2=4?! That means pi=8!!!
Dr. Bryan, MA113-Calculus III
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

In Calculus 3, when the prof was attempting to show us how to integrate in cylindrical coordinates. If your curious, we were integrating for the area of 1/2 the unit circle.
Rating: unrated

Dr. Gibson: Why don't we have trained monkeys do our job? Boy sitting behind me: PETA.
Dr. Darrell Gibson, ME450-Engineering Design
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

I swear, absolute best thing that happened in that class. I mean, with something like that on the first day, it can only go downhill from there.
Rating: 10

Dr. Gibson: Who's ever been skydiving? *Girl in front of the class is the only one to raise her hand* Dr. Gibson: Really?! Girl: Yeah... Dr. Gibson: Did you hit Terminal Velocity?
Dr. Darrell Gibson, ME450-Engineering Design
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

This seriously had absolutely nothing to do with what we were discussing in class. It was the first day and he was already spouting random stuff.
Rating: unrated

...and the people from the Financial Aid Department look at the form you handed them and say, "Psi...phi's"
Dr. James Mayhew, ME402-Heat Transfer
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Indiana

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 4, 2008

The final punchline to a rather long joke about a Heat Transfer equation containing a psi and two phi's.
Rating: unrated

So, there's the implementation, and there's the specification. Why are you laughing?
Seidel, CS 4331
Michigan Tech, Houghton, MI

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: November 3, 2008

Talking about shared pointers in UPC
Rating: unrated

"Incest is a state of mind."
Professor Goluboff, Anthropology 101
Washington and Lee University, Lexington, Virginia

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: October 31, 2008
Rating: unrated

"They can't sue you for breaking their sternum?" Student: "It's called the Good Samaritan law, if you don't do more than you know how." "I'd just let them die. That's what I know. How to run away."
John Lambrose, Speech 100
Cypress College, , CA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: October 7, 2008

The student was giving a demonstration on CPR.
Rating: unrated

"guinea pig's were called Cui in Latin America, I think its, you know... an onomatopoeia... its the sound they make... 'CUI CUI CUI!'
Dr. Meringer, World History 2
SUNY Fredonia, Fredonia, New York

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: October 5, 2008

Dr. Meringer on foods in Latin America, they ate Guinea Pig's and... they were called Cui!
Rating: 5.5

The English weather is like Iraq: partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.
Dr Ghil`ad Zuckermann, Israeli Linguistics
University of Cambridge, Cambridge, UK

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: September 28, 2008
Rating: 9.77778

Dr. fiddles with PC behind podium - he Jumps up from behind podium shouting: "BOO! ..." (Awkward silence) "OK, maybe that wasn't a good idea.'
Dr. Meringer, HIST 102
SUNY Fredonia, Fredonia, NY

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: September 27, 2008

No, no it wasn't. But it sure was funny as hell.
Rating: 8

"They cut your Achilles's tendon, and down you go. Now you're fertilizer for next year's crop."
Dr. Mike Salamone, INTA 4011
Georgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta, Georgia

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: September 25, 2008

In reference to the Battle of Agincourt.
Rating: 8

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